I have started getting up 15 to 20 minutes earlier than usual to make time for prayer. I hardly ever prayed as a kid. I felt that I had everything I needed, why pray? And when I did pray it was more like going through the motions. I don’t think I ever understood that an actual relationship with God was possible. I now attribute that to coming from a large family. I was the youngest until my dad remarried and I gained a step brother and a half brother. I felt like I wasn’t really seen, not really. Why would God have any interest in me? I’ve come to find that I was wrong about both my family and God.

What did I pray for this morning? To let go of my anger. I am furious about my circumstances. I am. But I know what God is asking of me. Mercy. This is now in God’s hands and I trust him that things will work out for the greater good.

I have been listening to the October conference talks and once again, when watching these when I was younger it was always just going through the motions. I was just listening to them because I was told to. That was my identity, being the good girl, my parent’s golden child. That’s why I did it. Listening to them now, I realize they are for me. They are for all of us in a time when we need them most.

I know that my posts get a lot of unwanted attention but that’s just the way things are. Usually what I have to say is unimportant but this is something worthy of your attention

We Will Prove Them Herewith https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2020/10/12bednar?lang=eng

Becoming like Him

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2020/10/13whiting?lang=eng

Eyes to See

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2020/10/14craig?lang=eng